Cooling Heated Political Banter at the Christmas Dinner

Published in RINewsToday on December 22, 2025

Over the years, nearly everyone has encountered an iconic archetype at holiday gatherings: “Uncle Bob.” At Christmas dinner, Bob predictably launches into uncomfortable political arguments. Other family members scramble to avoid his decisive political chatter—some using humor, others retreating to watch football games on the tube or quickly starting side conversations to dodge conflict.

Last December, the American Psychological Association (APA) released survey findings that underscored just how common—and stressful—these moments have become at Christmas gatherings. Following a divisive presidential election, most U.S. adults said they wanted to avoid political discussions at the dinner table during the holidays, especially with family members whose views differed from their own.

According to the APA survey, released on Dec. 10, 2024, more than 7 in 10 adults (72%) hoped to not talk politics with family during the holidays. While 65% said they were not worried that political discussions would damage relationships, nearly 2 in 5 adults (39%) reported feeling stressed at the thought of politics arising at holiday gatherings.

The survey’s findings also indicated that nearly 2 in 5 adults (38%) said they are avoiding family they disagree with over the holidays. Younger adults were significantly more likely than adults 65 or older to say they plan to avoid family over the holidays (45% adults ages 18–34, 47% ages 35–44, 42% ages 45–54, and 32% ages 55–64 vs. 23% ages 65+).

Fast forward to today: political disagreements within families have not disappeared, maybe even intensified, and the upcoming Christmas season may once again be ripe for tension and emotional strain and stress.

A Surprising Strategy for Reducing Political Conflict

New research, however, may offer a practical way to cool political tensions before they ruin a Christmas gathering. According to research published by the American Psychological Association, (APA), when engaging in political discussions, talking about what you oppose—rather than what you support—can make others more open to your views.

“In an era of deepening political polarization, our research offers a counterintuitive insight into how we can better communicate across ideological lines: Talk about what you oppose, not what you support,” said lead author Rhia Catapano, PhD, of the University of Toronto, in a Dec. 15, 2025 statement announcing the findings.

In a series of experiments involving more than 10,000 participants, researchers examined how people express their political opinions and how framing—support versus opposition—affects how others respond. The study, Talking About What We Support Versus Oppose Affects Others’ Openness to Our Views, was published online in the Dec. 15, 2025, issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In one experiment, people were randomly chosen to either provide their viewpoint on sensitive issues like abortion and gun control or hear someone else’s perspective on the same issue. All participants were told they were paired with someone who did not share their views, although no actual matching occurred.

Messages were carefully framed to express either support or opposition to a particular issue. For example, a statement supporting abortion message might read, “I support allowing abortions,” while a message framed in opposition would read, “I oppose abortion bans.”

Senders rated how persuasive they believed their messages would be in swaying their imaginary receiver. Receivers were asked to respond to messages from imaginary senders, reporting how closely the messages aligned with their values and whether they were open to reconsidering their own views.

Although senders believed support-framed messages would be more persuasive, the opposite was true. Receivers were significantly more open to messages framed in terms of opposition.

In a different experiment, researchers recruited Reddit users, creating a simulated Reddit environment in which participants could choose which post to read and engage in. Participants were more likely to select and engage with opposition-framed posts than those framed around support.

What Catapano found most striking was how subtle the change in framing actually was.

All of the actual arguments were the same for both framings, Catapano explained. Simply changing the wording of the first sentence from ‘I support X’ to ‘I oppose Y’—where Y represented the other side of the issue—was enough to increase receptiveness, she says.

How receptive people are to messages is affected not only by the arguments themselves, Catapano added, but by something as small as a single word in how those arguments are introduced.

Here’s the takeaway: small changes in how we talk about our beliefs can have outsized effects on how others respond—an insight with clear relevance for holiday conversations.

Setting Boundaries and Protecting Your Health

Two UT Southwestern Medical Center faculty members also offered guidance in a Nov. 21, 2024 MedBlog article, “Boundaries, respect, keys to political discussions at holiday family gatherings.”

Cameron W. Davis, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry, suggests the importance of setting personal boundaries and identify “hot” and “cold” topics before attending the family gathering to reduce the likelihood of hostile exchanges.

Sarah Woods, PhD, associate professor and vice chair of research in the Department of Family and Community Medicine, notes that strained family relationships—often intensified by clashing opinions—can have serious short- and long-term health consequences. Her research findings indicate that strained family dynamics are linked to higher rates of chronic conditions.

According to Woods, stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that acts as the body’s alarm system. Elevated cortisol levels can disrupt sleep, trigger headaches, increase inflammation, reduce pain tolerance, and cause shortness of breath.

Practical Do’s and Don’ts for Holiday Conversations

In their MedBlog, Drs. Davis and Woods offered the following practical advice to help keep Christmas dinner civil if political banter begins to heat up:

· Communicate respectfully. Focus on presenting facts and ideas when discussing politics and avoid making personal attacks.

· Set emotional boundaries.Pay close attention to your internal stress responses. Taking a deep breath before and during politically charged conversations can help you stay grounded.

· Prepare in advance.No one knows how to push your buttons like a family member. Practice how you’ll respond to difficult relatives at the family gathering—and avoid pushing their buttons in return.

· Focus on understanding others, not winning your point. Conflict is a natural part of relationships, and understanding this can help you develop the skills needed to address it. effectively. Acknowledging another person’s perspective doesn’t weaken your own positions. The goal to reach is having respect for the other person’s views, not, victory.

According to Drs. Davis and Woods, being able to listen carefully is a useful skill when talking about political issues that make you uncomfortable. If you decide to discuss politics at the Christmas dinner table, focus on truly hearing the other person rather than reacting impulsively. When responding, do it in a thoughtful way that reflect your values and understanding, they say.

The MedBlog authors also noted that it’s It’s helpful to identify an ally—someone you trust and feel safe with—where you can speak openly about your position on political issues that might come up at Christmas dinner or beyond. This allows you to “practice authenticity, think openly, and experience non-judgement listing.” This doesn’t have to be someone who agrees with you politically, but rather someone who helps create a buffer zone of emotional safety, they say.

If conversations become heated, resist making impulsive decisions about cutting them off—or cutting family members or friends out of your life, recommend Drs. Davis and Woods, recommending: Ask yourself: Is this a disagreement worth damaging a family relationship or friendship? Would quickly acting drain energy from other priorities right now?

Drs. Davis and Woods advise that if politics come up, don’t insist others agree with you or pressure them into debate. Step back from discussions that feel emotionally draining to you, you’re not obligated to participate. Politely declining, redirecting the topic, or gauging someone’s willingness to talk can prevent unnecessary tension.

Finally, having a plan can reduce stress, too. If you’re attending a gathering with a spouse or partner, get on the same page beforehand. Decide which topics are off-limits and how long you want to stay. Create a subtle signal—a hand gesture, a wink, or a touch on the shoulder—to defuse tension and awkward moments or cue your partner to step in.

A Final Note… Over the years, when I go to Christmas gatherings, my son, and I often differ on politics and other issues. When we don’t see eye to eye, I simply say, “Well, we can agree to disagree.” That usually settles the discussion once and for all.

Enjoy your Christmas gathering.

Combatting Loneliness Through Connection and Community Engagement

Published in RINewsToday on December 15, 2025

On April 30, 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published an essay in The New York Times, announcing the impending release of U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory report titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” In this essay he talked about his own personal struggles with loneliness and called loneliness a public health crisis and advocated for strengthening social connections to combat it.

On May 3, 2023, Murthy released a 81-page report revealing that even before the COVID-19 pandemic, beginning late 2019, nearly half of U.S. adults were experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. This report detailed serious physical and mental health risks resulting from being lonely, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking as many as 15 cigarettes daily. The Surgeon General also proposed a national strategy to address this issue.

Almost two years and seven months later, AARP releases a new report, “Disconnected: The Escalating Challenge of Loneliness Among Adults 45+.” The 57-page study found that 40% of U.S. adults aged 45 and older are now experiencing loneliness, up from 35% in both 2018 and 2010. Additionally, the report noted a shift in gender loneliness trends, too: men are now more likely to report being lonely than women (42% vs. 37%), reversing the 2018 trend where men (34%) and women (36%) reported nearly equal levels of loneliness.

Researchers also found that loneliness is most prevalent among adults in their 40s and 50s, with 46% of adults ages 45-59 reporting loneliness, compared to 35% of those aged 60 and older. This trend of loneliness decreasing with age has been consistent since AARP’s 2010 research study.

“In midlife, people often juggle careers, children, and caregiving responsibilities while their social circles shrink,” said Debra Whitman, AARP Executive Vice President and Chief Public Policy Officer, in a Dec. 3 statement announcing the release of the report. “These pressures can increase stress and reduce opportunities to meaningfully connect with others,” she added.

Key Predictors of Loneliness

The report identifies several key predictors of loneliness, including smaller social networks, mental health challenges, and fewer friendships. Forty-five percent of lonely individuals reported having fewer friends than they did five years ago, compared to 29% of adults age 45 and older overall. Men are more likely than women to report having no close friends (17% vs. 13%).

Technology also played a significant role in enhancing social connections, with nearly 6 in 10 adults aged 45+ (57%) relying on technology to stay connected with family and friends. This group generally has more close friends and is more likely to volunteer or participate in community groups, the findings suggest. However, for some, technology can deepen isolation. Nearly 24% of lonely adults say technology has led to fewer close friendships. At the same time, 23% of lonely adults express interest in AI technologies for companionship, compared to 15% of adults 45+ overall.

“This research underscores the importance of staying connected with family, friends, and the broader community. Solid social networks aren’t just nice to have—they’re essential for combating loneliness and supporting overall well-being,” said Heather Nawrocki, Vice President of Fun & Fulfillment at AARP. “Nurturing relationships is just as critical to your health as eating well and exercising,” she added.

The report highlights that both lonely and non-lonely adults experience a sense of true belonging when they spend time with family, friends, and co-workers. This suggests an opportunity for individuals to strengthen existing relationships and form new connections.

Social connections can serve as a lifeline for both lonely and non-lonely individuals, the report notes. Simple acts such as reaching out to an old friend, starting a conversation with a stranger, checking in on a neighbor who has recently lost a loved one, or volunteering at your child’s or grandchild’s school can help address feelings of loneliness.

Rhode Island Insights on Loneliness

“This research mirrors what we hear every day from Rhode Islanders who call the Office of Healthy Aging,” says Maria Cimini, Director of the Rhode Island Office of Healthy Aging (RIOHA). Cimini explains that loneliness often surfaces quietly through stress, uncertainty, or a simple feeling of not knowing where to turn for help.

“The new AARP research reflects what RIOHA hears daily from older adults, caregivers, and families seeking help. Loneliness rarely presents itself as the first concern in a call,” Cimini says. “Instead, it often manifests as anxiety, caregiver stress, confusion, or simply a need to talk to someone who understands their situation.”

Cimini emphasizes that loneliness is not just an abstract condition but a complex social and health issue that intersects with caregiving, housing stability, transportation access, food security, disability, and mental health. “Calls to the Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) often reveal people navigating major life transitions alone, such as the loss of a spouse, a new diagnosis, reduced mobility, or the isolation that comes with caregiving or retirement,” she says.

“Loneliness has a significant impact on health, and both loneliness and social isolation are increasingly recognized as major social determinants of health,” says Maureen Maigret, policy advisor for SACRI and a board member of The Village Common of Rhode Island (TVCRI). TVCRI helps older adults remain independent and connected to their communities. Maigret highlighted that feedback from TVCRI members shows how critical the social connections provided by volunteers are for maintaining health and well-being.

AARP’s findings align with research from the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, according to Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a former president of the APA’s Division of Psychologists in Independent Practice. Rodino, a licensed psychologist practicing in Los Angeles and State College, Pennsylvania, stressed that loneliness is a subjective experience. “Some people who spend most of their time alone don’t feel lonely, while others with regular social activity still report feeling lonely,” she explained.

“‘Alone in a crowd’ is an expression that captures the feeling of being surrounded by people yet still feeling isolated,” Rodino said, adding that this is true in online environments as well. “Some people engage with social media or chat groups, while others simply lurk, passively observing without interacting. These individuals often feel lonely, whereas those who actively engage are less likely to report the same experience.”

Rodino also pointed out that patients who identify as lonely may struggle to make social connections due to anxiety. “They may feel more comfortable staying home to avoid the discomfort of social engagement,” she said.

Deb Burton, Executive Director of RI Elder Info, offers a simple but important insight: “Too often, we confuse being alone with being lonely. Many people enjoy solitude, but loneliness is the painful feeling that our social connections aren’t fulfilling or adequate,” she said.

Burton explains that society has traded community for independence, and as a result, many people feel isolated. “Rebuilding community starts with simple acts of connection,” she says. “Volunteering is one of the most powerful ways to do this. When people give their time—whether through RI Elder Info or another local organization—they strengthen their own sense of belonging while supporting older adults and caregivers who rely on trusted information and human connection.”

Rhode Island Resources to Combat Loneliness

RI OHA’s approach focuses on connection, navigation, and community—not quick fixes, says Director Cimini, noting that this state office works to reduce isolation by helping people find services, relationships, and meaningful ways to stay engaged.

The state office supports older adults and adults with disabilities through a statewide network of programs that help counter loneliness and strengthen connection, including:

· Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC): A trusted entry point for information, counseling, and referrals.

· Senior Companion Program: Pairs trained volunteers with older adults who need regular companionship.

· Family Caregiver Support Program: Provides education, respite, counseling, and peer support for caregivers.

· Senior Centers and Community-Based Programs: Offering meals, wellness activities, and social engagement.

· Nutrition Programs: Congregate meal sites and home-delivered meals that offer nourishment and social contact.

· Volunteer and Civic Engagement Opportunities: Supporting older adults in staying connected through service and community contribution.

· SHIP (State Health Insurance Assistance Program): Provides one-on-one counseling to reduce stress and confusion around Medicare.

The Samaritans of Rhode Island

The AARP study puts a spotlight on an issue that is evolving and becoming more complicated as technologies, the economy, health care options and living situations change, says Executive Director Denise Panichas at the Samaritans of Rhode Island in Pawtucket.

According to Panichas, The Samaritans of Rhode Island (a suicide prevention resource center), loneliness is at the heart of every call to the agency’s anonymous, befriending line. In its forty-eight year history, the agency has trained a legion of more than 1,800 alumni and current volunteers to listen beyond the words for the isolation presented by every caller.

Panichas, who has served as executive director for over 24-years, says that those who feel hopeless, alone and suicidal often carry the belief, whether true or not, that they and their problems and emotions are a burden to family and friends. “The fear of being a burden too often quiets their voices at the very moment they most need to be heard,” she says.

“It’s important for readers to know, The Samaritans is not 911 nor are we 988,” adds Panichas, explaining that the phone lines are staffed by volunteers. “Our mission is not only suicide prevention education but to foster connection to our listening line that, if the caller wants, can be used as long as we are needed but is also available for a lifetime of support. We actually have callers who call every day just to check in or to say good night,” she says.

Says Panichas, “Our callers recognized the sincerity of our volunteers, who by the very act of volunteering, convey a message to our callers that their lives matter and they are not alone. It’s always a good day, when callers report back that after having the courage to talk a Samaritan volunteer, they found the strength to reconnect with family, friends and professionals.”

Emergency? Call 911. Need to Talk? Call The Samaritans of Rhode Island at 401.272.4044 or 1.800.365.4044. Learn more at www.samaritansri.org

To see OHA programs that help counter loneliness and promote social connections, go to www.oha.ri.gov

Congress Moves on a National Anti-Scam Strategy to Protect Older Adults

Published in RINewsToday on December 8, 2025

Last month, the AARP, recognizing that the holiday season leading up to Christmas is widely viewed as “prime time” for scams targeting older Americans, released findings from its 2025 Holiday Shopping and Scams Survey. According to the AARP Fraud Watch Network, fraud aimed at online shoppers and holiday donors continues to skyrocket.

With Christmas fast approaching, millions of Americans are preparing to shop and give online. The Survey, released just nine days before Thanksgiving, reveals that a majority of U.S. adults (89%) have encountered at least one scam. These include fake notifications about shipment issues (55%), phony charity appeals (35%), misleading digital ads (39%), and even the physical theft of packages from porches (30%). More than half of adults said they received a fake shipping notice this year, while nearly four in ten encountered deceptive ads on social media.

“Criminals are relentless during the holidays, exploiting the many opportunities that come with a busy season—from shopping and traveling to charitable giving,” said Kathy Stokes, Director of Fraud Prevention Programs at the AARP Fraud Watch Network, in a Nov. 18 statement. “Understanding how they operate is the first step toward protecting yourself and your loved ones,” she says.

Although online scams continue to rise, many consumers still prefer using debit cards—even though recouping funds taken from a victim’s bank account often takes far longer than resolving a disputed credit card charge. Still, the report shows that safer payment habits are gaining ground.

While 72% of consumers plan to use a debit card this year, credit card use is up significantly from 2024 (64%), with nearly seven in ten planning to use a credit card during the upcoming holiday season.

The survey also found that 64% of consumers who plan to purchase gift cards this season expect to buy them off the rack at retail stores, such as grocery stores or pharmacies. This continues to be a major vulnerability: 33% of U.S. adults reported giving or receiving a gift card with no balance. Fraudsters often record the card number, expose and reseal the PIN, then wait for activation before draining the funds.

Consumers are increasingly targeted through peer-to-peer (P2P) payment apps as well, with two in five users reporting that they have sent money to someone they did not know. Despite growing awareness, many people still underestimate the risks of using debit cards or fail to verify charitable organizations before donating.

New Federal Plan Aims to Protect Seniors

AARP’s survey found that 92% of respondents—across liberal, moderate, and conservative viewpoints—want Congress to do more to protect older adults from fraud. And Congress appears to be listening.

Last week, U.S. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), ranking member of the Senate Aging Committee, held a Dec. 4 virtual press conference announcing the introduction of S. 3355, National Strategy for Combating Scams Act of 2025, legislation aimed at providing stronger safeguards for seniors this holiday season and beyond. This bill was referred to the Senate Judiciary Committee. Gillibrand warned that financial scams, which cost Americans more than $16 billion last year, disproportionately harm older adults.

Throughout the event, Gillibrand underscored the economic hardship caused when older adults lose money to fraud. She noted the rapid evolution of artificial intelligence, which is enabling scammers to create more sophisticated and “hyper-realistic imposter scams” that require immediate government action.

Senate cosponsors include Sens. Rick Scott (R-FL), Mark Kelly (D-AZ), and Ashley Moody (R-FL). H.R. 6425, companion legislation is being led in the House by Reps. Gabe Amo (D-RI) and Derek Schmidt (R-KS). Hopefully, we’ll see Rep. Seth Magaziner (D-RI) join Rep. Eleanor Homes Del Norton (D-District of Columbia) and Rep. Sarah McBride (D-DE) as cosponsors.

According to Gillibrand, more than four in ten Americans say they have lost money to scams or had their sensitive information stolen. Older adults account for an estimated 30% of financial losses, with an average loss of $83,000 per incident. Gillibrand shared the story of a 75-year-old man who received up to five scam calls each day and a senior woman who lost $39,000.

The Government Accountability Office (GAO), often referred to as Congress’s watchdog, recently identified at least 13 federal agencies conducting anti-scam efforts, each working independently under different mandates. GAO recommended that the FBI take the lead in establishing a unified National Strategy for Combating Scams. Gillibrand’s bill would give the FBI a legal obligation to implement that framework.

During the press conference, Gillibrand also addressed underreporting, noting that many victims—like her own aunt who lost $5,000 to a scammer impersonating an FBI agent—feel too embarrassed to tell family members or law enforcement. She shared the story in response to a question from Brian O’Neill, host of Newsmaker on WLEA Radio, underscoring how shame and secrecy allow scammers to continue exploiting vulnerable individuals.

“I’m proud to introduce the bipartisan National Strategy for Combating Scams Act to help make sure seniors don’t get scrooged this holiday season,” said Gillibrand. “It’s clear that we need a coordinated national strategy to tackle the increasingly sophisticated scams targeting our seniors, and this legislation would bring that to fruition. I look forward to working with colleagues on both sides of the aisle to get this vital bill across the finish line.”

Sen.Rick Scott (R-FL), chair of the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging, added: “Families across the country are being hammered by increasingly sophisticated scams, and Washington has been far too slow to respond. This bipartisan effort finally brings federal agencies together, cuts duplication, and creates a real national plan to protect seniors and hardworking Americans.

AARP, which represents 125 million adults age 50 and over, strongly endorses the National Strategy for Combating Scams Act of 2025. “The strategy encourages smarter use of technology, better data collection, and stronger partnerships with banks, tech companies, and law enforcement to help prevent scams and support victims. And it prioritizes making resources easier to access, providing more effective recovery for those who’ve been targeted,” says AARP’s Jennifer Jones, vice president of Financial Security & Livable Communities, Government Affairs.

House Considers Companion Anti-Scam Bill

On the House side, Rep. Amo introduces a companion measure (H.R. 6425). “Too many Rhode Islanders have been taken for a ride by scammers skimming their pockets and stealing their hard-earned money, leaving many devastated and destitute,” he said. “I’m proud to introduce the bipartisan National Strategy for Combating Scams Act to ensure we are addressing the rising scam threat in a coordinated and strategic manner.”

According to the FBI, Rhode Islanders lost $6,309,411 to senior fraud in 2024 alone. Earlier this year, Amo launched the bipartisan Stop Scams Caucus to combat financial fraud, cyber scams, and cross-border criminal networks. In Rhode Island, he also convened a roundtable discussion at the Middletown Senior Center focused on scam prevention.

The National Strategy for Combating Scams Act is endorsed by a broad coalition of national organizations, including AARP, Aspen Institute Financial Security Program, Chamber of Progress, Global Anti-Scam Alliance, Justice in Aging, the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA), National Association of Social Workers, National Asian Pacific Center on Aging, National Caucus and Center on Black Aging, National Sheriffs’ Association, Stop Scams Alliance, and many others.

To view AARP’s holiday scam report, go to https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/topics/work-finances-retirement/fraud-consumer-protection/holiday-shopping-scams-2025.doi.10.26419-2fres.00992.001.pdf

Herb Weiss

Aging Issues